Sigh…. Been wanting to write something since earlier tonight… but I ended up having some talks with one person to another, not to mention I been thinking what way can I explain my situation. It’s now quarter to one, now here I go…
I got back from Teluk Intan after a Drill Seminar last weekend (June 28-July1). Had a fantastic time, will blog about it another time. From then I thought that was the climax of my holidays and the rest is just nice days of rest… till she came and surprise me!!
Chui Lee lah… for the longest time I thought she was still in Australia, getting ready for Sydney to further her studies, but nooooo…. turns out she’s been here for nearly two weeks and only now she comes to visit. You know she could’ve actually stayed hidden from me and I would not know a thing about her being here. So I guess I should be thankful that she loves enough to show her face instead of ignoring me entirely.
These two events actually gave me epiphanies, and views of life that may be. In Teluk Intan I discovered I have a knack for teaching. I’m not scared of crowds, I love participating with others, I have a passion in involving myself and helping others grow fromm one stage of life to another. It was confirmed from then onwards I wanted to become a teacher or some sort. Now the other three who were with me (Eunice, Ian and Xin Wei) had no idea that I was thinking and praying about it day in and day out.
You see, in the church where I gave the seminar, they have this magnificent sanctuary. It’s not like paved with gold or anything. It was plain white marble tiled floor, white wash wall with plain glass windows, a large cross and Bible on the front wall. As it is a Methodist establishment, the pulpit is on a stage, two chairs at the side of it (one for the preacher, the other for the lay-chairman). In front of the stage were kneelers, where people would kneel in front of the cross to either receive communion on some Sundays, or have a moment for ministering and prayer. Oh, and hanging on the front of the pulpit, was a banner of a dove with words at the bottom saying “Holy Spirit, fill this place”.
Now most of the time I don’t tend to step foot into the sanctuary as I didn’t wish to treat it like my private prayer room. Plus, we (E,I and XW) had a room for ourselves and we do have quiet time at night. But, this sanctuary was different, I had the urge to just kneel there and pray. So whenever I could, I would go to the sanctuary, kneel on the kneeler, face the cross and Bible at the inner sanctum, and prayed. I prayed “God, what is it here You wish to speak to me? Why have You called me here?” Then the Bible became more enticing. So I stepped towards it; it was opened to the book of Isaiah Chapter 13, and as I read down to verse 19, it said:
“ 19For the people shall dwell in Zion at Jerusalem: thou shalt weep no more: he will be very gracious unto thee at the voice of thy cry; when he shall hear it, he will answer thee.
20And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not thy teachers be removed into a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy teachers:
21And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
The word teacher stuck out to me the most. It was saying that no matter how high in knowledge a person can attain, there will always be a need of a teacher. I was pondering and pondering. Do I need a teacher? Am I to go to a teacher? Or am I to become a teacher? After much prayer and intercession, I thought, “I’ll BE a teacher.” I went back to my mom and dad and told them. They said they knew that it would’ve been a possibility, so they advised me that after my degree I will go and get my Teaching Degree and become a teacher.
The best things about being a teacher is that you’ll never go hungry thought you wont eat like kings, you’ll always have time for family, and you’ll have time for youth ministry, as when it’s my holidays, it’s their holidays. So I thought, Jesus wouldn’t it be perfect. So I leave the idea to God.
This is just the church bit.
Although the Chui Lee fellowship was the one that gave the spark, it was recently while spending time with Glorie and the usual gang got me thinking about the future. We were talking about relationships, marriage, career and life. And as I gave my ideas, I hear theirs, and all I can say is that I’ll be very much humbled next to them in the future.
Glorie hopes to make it big, Daniel aims to do well in hospitality, and Ben is very into sports management. Then I recall Mark Leong wanting to perhaps be a gym instructor/manager, Tseng Yang wanting to establish his millions by 30yrs old, and all I can think was “Gee, beside them, my dreams seem rather small”. That’s a lie of course; I hope to change lives, share the gospel to the lost in KL, I want Malaysia to be the most evangelistic country in Asia. I want the generations to wake up and stand for our Lord God, Jesus Christ, and teaching is right next to pastoring, which by the way is also a desire of my heart and I hope to be called. I just hope that in ten years time, when we meet again for mamak, I can carry head high, knowing like their lives, mine is fulfilling.
Status in society doesn’t really bother me. But, I can imagine; the others will drive in their foreign cars (Volvo for Mark L, Nissan for Daniel, BMW for Glorie, etc) and here I drive in my new second-hand Perodua Viva. We’ll talk about work and when they talk about shares and sales and bookings and membership stats, I’ll be talking about how my classes are doing well, some struggling but the average is B+ to A. when they talk about houses, what new things have they done with it, I’ll tell them I’ve finished building my own couch and now working on an L-shaped sofa.
I know that these things for now are way over-exaggerated, but it most definitely possible. All I can say is I promise myself now, that whether for richer or poorer, win or lose, in glory or humiliation, my praises and trust goes back to the Lord. I promise never to have my wife and kids go hungry, and provide them the best I can get for them.
Pray with me:
Dear God, I am actually scared. Excited, definitely, but scared. You tell me not to worry, and to be a man of faith. So God, I come running to Your open arms. Hold me close as we embark my life together, saving others and grow a generation that will wholeheartedly give you praise. Holy Spirit be my light to go whatever path the Father takes me to, and Jesus You take the wheel of my life, because I cant do anything on my own. I’m so thankful that I always feel Your love and that You are next to me and with me always. So God once again I lay my life of blessings and troubles to Your feet that I may display thy miracles. In Jesus name, Amen.
Verse 1
I see the king of glory
Coming down the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see His love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing
Chorus
Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest
Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest
Verse 2
I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a new revival
Starting as we pray and seek
We’re on our knees, we’re on our knees
Bridge
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what is yours
Everything I am for your kingdom’s cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
starting from 5pm. The ticket price is RM 5 (upper terrace), and RM 10 (lower terrace). Still figuring which one would I prefer, up-closeness or a good overall view.
