My Blog

I need a break.

Not only from BB, but from an entire calling from a life as a celibate christian. NO, Im not saying i wanna lose my virginity.i’m saying i need a different to have a life outside BB, outside my appearence (i.e. strict, BB disciplinarian and Drill Instructor). I dont wanna be looked at as just that.

DO YOU GUYS HEAR THAT? I DONT!!!

I wanna be approachable. i wanna be a person who people like to hang out with. I’m not a monster. though i may look like it in the parade ground, but outside that, i like a good social life. I do not hibernate till the next saturday! I like to go to movies, i like to chat, i like to go yam cha. does anybody remember me as that?

I miss the days where i can go out with my BB friends, NOT for a drill practice, NOT for anything official. I like to hang out at the malls, watch a movie, check out new clothes and stuff.  Can anybody remember me as that?

I used to be someone who ppl used to come to and ask advice or talk to abt their problems. Now it seems as if i’m unapproachable. Like i got this disease or sumthin. I HATE IT.

Haih… i desperately need someone to take over me. But there isnt. Who is willing to give up a social life just to practice the ceremonies and discipline of BB on a daily basis to be a good example? i dont think so.

we have some ppl who behave like a clown in BB, but they end up being the most popular. i think i am the only person who gave that up, just to fufill my calling.

Its not like i dont want to follow my calling. i love it. but its starting to become my "one thing".

John Henry Giles, famous musician and blues trumpeter, said that "Men like me, who doesnt go back to a warm home with wife and kids with a drink and a kiss to keep you company, we wouldnt’ve given it up if we didnt have something, anything, ONE THING to keep ourselves warm at night. This can mean that, family, friends, hobbies, all can be gone just for that "one thing".

My "one thing" now is BB, and all i can say is… i dont want to miss out all the other things. I want to get out of my uniform, put on some plain clothes, and just have a good time, with no reference whatsoever to BB protocol. I still wanna be with my BB friends, some in particular who i will make it obvious to eventually, I wanna go out with them, have some fun, get close with them to be good friends. I’m worried simply because…. my BB peers are leaving soon.

So, to whom may take concern, dont look at me as just a Drill Instructor, look at me as a friend. Pray for me, cos there’re lot of splits in my path and i dunno which one to take.

May whatever i do acknowledge God, let Him direct my path… all from Sri Sempurna… sounds fammiliar?

God Bless

well… i guess after AGES of going through one preperation after another… its time for me to update u guys abt me… nuthin philosophical in this post (well, nuthin planned lah).

Well, its gonna be the end of my coll life soon. One June 2nd, i will go up, grab my diploma, shake hands, n leave for Pesta. Sad rite? suppose to go dinner with parents, say some last goodbyes with frens, but to tell u the truth i do not feel solumn, excited, or even sad over my leave. My friends jkingly say someitmes.. ITS ABT TIME… n this time, i couldnt agree more.

Unlike someone i noe who was totally aggrevated with her marks, i’m quite ok with mine. not as high as i want, but i definitely am able to go to the universities i want. i guess i dun feel excited abt the end of my coll life simply becos i alredi have things to do. the past few weeks of preperation for Pesta (BB National Camp) competitions, the councelling going up, plus preparing to go onboard Doulos have been keeping me as bz as if i am still doing my ISU.

Well, my exams were okay. was really confident over them except accounts which i totally screwed up. its jus dat the commonwealth system and the american standard system is so different, yet simmiliar.i get confused. btu i still got an ok average from it all. we’ll see the final one soon enuf.

BB wise, the Drill team are doing well, all we can do now is leave it to God. Our band willdefinitely be a competition though this will be the first time we’re competing, and groups singing is so colorful, we definitely will be a challenge. all i can say is that we DO reap what we sow. the harvest is gonna be good.

Will tell wats on my mind next… but in the meantime, it’s almost time for me to end my chapter in college, and begin my new one in university.